Wednesday, March 20, 2013

My Motivation Seems to be M.I.A. (Yikes!!)

What do you do when you seem to have lost all motivation to do anything? That is how I have been feeling recently. In my last post, I mentioned that I haven't had an audition in a while. I said that I would do things like edit my reel, blog more, yada yada yada. Well, I haven't done anything. I just don't feel like. Yes, I have been submitting to castings and all that everyday, but with no response. And also, when I do submit, I barely have the energy to write a nice note. Normally, I enjoy the entire process. Ugh!!! What is wrong with me?!!! I'm not saying I've lost my passion for acting and for pursuing acting--it's the only thing I want to do as my career-- but for the past couple of weeks I just haven't felt like doing anything to push it. I don't even feel like tweeting, or talking to people, or updating my Facebook. All I want to do is sleep. Or relax. I've only been responding to things when I absolutely have to.

I was off today and woke up planning to work on a new monologue, record it, then post it in a blog I'm working on about monologues. I didn't end up doing any of that. I didn't make all the connections I wanted to try to make on social media today either. Well, I did make a couple of pretty good ones, so that's a plus at least.

I hate that I am feeling this way right now, because this week I finally started working only part time at my day job. Now is the time that I am supposed to be working harder than ever towards my goal of being a successful actress. So I ask again, what is wrong with me?!!!

Am I putting too much pressure on myself? Or is it that I just have to adjust to my new daily routine? Did I get complacent because it seemed like for a bit I was booking every two weeks? Or maybe I need a break--a real break, more than a few days--from all the acting stuff to get reenergized? I don't know. I don't actually want to take a break. I just want a project, even just a small one, to get the passion juices flowing again. Is it normal to feel this way sometimes when it comes to pursuing your dreams?

I'm not giving up, but at the moment I feel tired. I guess I have to remind myself that I have gone through this before. It's been awhile though so maybe I've forgotten how it felt and that everything turned out okay. It always does get back to normal somehow. So I am going to publish this post, go to sleep, and have faith that I will have something positive to report soon.

God Bless!!:)

No comments:

Post a Comment